living large…by cindy wallach

we were so inspired by cindy wallach’s blog “zach aboard,” we asked her if she would mind guest blogging for us and sharing an abbreviated story of life aboard her sailboat, with two kids and a husband. here she delves into the “whys” behind their beautiful life aboard. (Be sure to follow Cindy’s journeys at http://www.zachaboard.blogspot.com/).

My dad said I could pick out any flowers I wanted. We walked the earthy smelling rows of the giant garden center on the north side of Chicago, and the bulbs and seed packs seemed to swirl around me in a cloud of sameness. I didn’t know a pansy from a petunia, and although being eight years old I tried to be a happy camper for my dad, though deep inside I really didn’t care about gardening. Then something caught my eye.  A mast. I broke free and scurried to the middle of the warehouse where a small cabin cruiser sailboat was on display. Letting myself onboard was like entering a whole new universe. Here was this mini version of home. There was a bed, a sink, a stove, a toilet, and a small desk on the inside. What else does a person need?

I find myself repeating this mantra over and over again as people ask how we manage to raise a family of four aboard a sailboat. My son has known no other home in his seven years on this planet and my eight-month old daughter will grow up thinking that a refrigerator the size of a stack of shoe boxes and toilets that suck sea water are perfectly normal. There are challenges, of course. Lugging loads of dirty clothes (how do new babies make so much laundry?) to and from the laundry room at the marina with a baby strapped to your front and a little boy nipping at your heels makes me long for a washer-dryer.  My son and husband playing cars literally at my heels while I am trying to tap out a deadline on my laptop while nursing my daughter creates a yearning for a little office of my own with a door that I can close. But truly I wouldn’t have it any other way, even after thirteen years aboard.

My little ones and their open minds and open hearts are such an inspiration to me.  Stuck in traffic after a long day, he chirps from the car seat, “Mama, I don’t need anything but my hands and my imagination to have all kinds of fun.”  He happily makes do time and time again. I watch my son and daughter and I’m reminded that children don’t need more than two loving parents and a safe place to call home.  At the same time I do want so much more for my kids. Good enough or fine is never ok by me. I want extraordinary and fabulous for my children.  We school the kids ourselves and live life without a television or video games not as a statement or protest, but as a way to savor these delicious little people who teach us every day. We want to make the most of our precious time together spinning on this planet around the sun.

I watch my son clamber around the boat with circus-like confidence and sometimes my hair goes grey as I bite my tongue wanting to holler out the generic maternal battle cry, “be careful!”  But I need to trust him. I need to let him find his feet and develop his own way on the water.  How can we raise little adventurers if we don’t let them have their little adventures?   My job is not to shelter him and tell him what to do, I need to let him find his way and be there when he needs me.  It takes every bit of strength I have to stand back and let him go forth and be free. But I know how vital it is, because it’s the life we lead.

The parental units gently asked us why we won’t consider buying a house “just for a few years, until the kids are older.”  They visit and perceive this life as too difficult.  They struggle getting on board, gripe at having to conserve water, and fuss at the limited space.  For us it’s not difficult, it’s challenging and invigorating.  And with every challenge a boat brings, it also brings us one step closer to a tangible dream of going off cruising once again.  It brings us closer to heading off to far away ports, meeting new people, exploring the ocean and getting to know our world and ourselves a little better.  I have yet to find a house that can offer that as a reward for our hard work.

We also have boat friends who think we’re nuts for “ruining a good thing” by having kids. We had a tricked out cruising boat, cash in the bank, and our health.  Why not head out again and go where the wind takes us without the added hassle and expense and worry of kids? We did that once, and it was fabulous. But we realized it was too fabulous not to be shared.  We want our son and daughter to see the world, learn about nature, meet new people of all walks of life, and expand their horizons beyond the stale shopping mall, trendy TV shows, and doing the same thing everyone else does just because.

The reason we had children is because we live aboard and cruise and wanted to share it. And the reason we moved aboard it because we knew that we would one day want to have kids and raise them with all of the wonders that draw people to the cruising life in the first place.

Home isn’t possessions from a store where everyone else in your town shops for the same “stuff,” it isn’t wood and shingles and a lawn that will suit some stranger just as well as you. It’s not a city that will forget you when you move. As far as the concepts of home and security go, for me, wherever my husband and children are, that IS home… no matter what shape, form, or location. That’s the beauty of a life afloat, you can be somewhere totally foreign and out of your comfort zone and you still have the safe womb of your boat and family easing you into a new place. It’s a wonderful way to see the world.

I still hate gardening. And I still look around in awe each day at my little kitchen and bed and bathroom and my beautiful family and think, what else does a person need? Our wee space within reminds us that life is meant to be lived out there, in the world.